Kristin's Day 15 - 'My life is worth nothing unless...'

I was ready to quit. I was done with this fast, this blog, and this journey on Monday. I wanted out. I was unsettled and I felt questions and doubts deep within focusing on 'why' and 'how' and I just couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew that I needed to seek God and talk with my husband.

Talk with my husband:

When we get married, we become 'one' with our spouse. There are many teachings on this subject and scripture is very specific to say that the husband is the head of the family and he is to treat his wife as Christ treats the church - lay your life down for her.
When I do this fast - it affects the whole family. I end up cooking a lot as there are very few easy to eat meals that are dairy, meat, sugar, and grain free. I spend time writing the blog and processing what is happening spiritually. It can take a toll. Andy is down for me doing this fast, but he isn't too keen on the time used to write this blog because it's often done when the kids go to bed and we could spend time together.

Yesterday I asked him if he wanted me to do the blog - ready to lay it down. I like writing this, but not at the expense of damaging my relationship with my husband. I love him. I love him more than this blog. I told him that if he is okay with my writing it, then I needed his support as well.

His response was a little shocking to me.

He told me that it honored him greatly that I would 1. ask for his opinion 2. for his support. It changed his outlook on what I was doing. He said that he thought it was important for me to continue and that I indeed had his support. You'll also notice that my posts are going to come out earlier in the day so that time we could have is not spent writing this.

Seeking God:

As I am spending time praying and reading scripture, I keep coming back to the same theme.

POUR YOURSELF OUT

There is no end to God's love, but there is an end to mine. 

There is no end to God's grace, but there is an end to mine

There is no end to God's resources, but there is an end to mine

There is no end to God's ANYTHING, but I have to get beyond myself to tap into that.

For instance in today's reading: 

Acts 20:24 - 'But my life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus - the work of telling others the Good News about God's wonderful kindness and love.'

I feel like so often when it comes to 'doing' something for God - we think of ourselves as ill equipped or not ready or someone else will be more suited.

When we start doing something we approach ministry with a whole lot of common sense - schedules, programs, and more. Common sense is not a bad approach, but often God may call us to do, go, be, and speak BEYOND common sense or convention. Are we willing to step out, pour ourselves out, and allow Him to work through us?

I used to get mad when people said 'How do you do YL AND raise 4 kids?' 'How do you deal with THAT many kids in your house?'

HOW?

Because if I didn't my life would feel worthless. If I didn't, my capacity of 'telling others the Good News about God's wonderful kindness and love' would be more than limited. 

Are we good news friends? Do you have a 'holy' passion where you feel poured out in the most EXCELLENT work of sharing God's love with others?

I hope so because our lives are nothing unless we do.