The mysteries of God FAR outweigh my ability to remotely compute Him. Sometimes, these mysteries leave you trying to quantify His absoluteness. Sometimes, these mysteries leave you on your face, humbled. They leave you standing there, arms wide open, speechless. They crack your heart wide open...deeply trenched. Today is one of those days.
The bible teaches us to "mourn with those who mourn" (Romans 12:15), but this is FAR greater a mourning. This goes to the very depths of the marrow. No tears. No words. True, real, deep.
Adoption is very near and dear to our hearts (obviously). It's also near and dear to God's heart. So near, in fact, that He defines Himself as "Father to the Fatherless" (Psalm 68:5). That's why we leap for joy when our friends decide to adopt. That's why we race to help them bring their children home! It's why we joyfully give to the missionary who has devoted their very lives to caring for orphans! Orphans hold a most tender place in our Father's heart. They should hold a most tender place in our hearts.
My friend began her adoption from China about a year ago. I believe they were in the special needs program, as they were referred a beautiful China Doll with a heart defect. She and her husband were pursuing every available option to bring their sweet girl home quickly.
Time was against them, and baby.
Baby went home to be with Jesus.
My heart cries out. I'm furious. I'm devastated. I'm astonished. I'm enraged...outraged! I'm screaming on the inside. Why, Jesus? Why? You know what? This is beyond "mourning with those who mourn." Much farther beyond. Yes. I'm so very sad for my friend. I cannot comprehend what her heart must be feeling right now. All the questions: Why did they wait SO long to refer her? Why didn't they (China) DO anything? Why wouldn't they speed anything up? Why couldn't they just let us come GET her?! We could have HELPED her HERE! And, maybe my friend is thinking what I'm thinking, but Why, Jesus? If she was going to die, why not die in her mother's arms? Loved. Cherished. Beloved daughter? Why did she have to die...orphaned?
And, then I think this sweet, sweet baby China doll was a TRUE daughter of the King. She was truly orphaned. He was/is her ONLY Father, who loves her and gave Himself for her. She was ushered into her Father's arms. Children are gifted to us. The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away. We must be able to cling to the Promise that His plans are to PROSPER US and NOT HARM US.
I have no answers. But I know that God HAS BEEN...HE IS...HE WILL BE. His purposes will come to fruition. What God does is COMPLETELY done. So, I can only say, "Come, Lord Jesus. Maranatha."
Grace and Peace to my sweet Sister tonight~
Kelly
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