Kelly's DAY 36---NEEDS

“What if God’s will for our life is found wherever someone’s need and our ability intersect?” ~unknown

I was reading God's Littlest Angels Orphanage website today. GLA is an orphanage in Haiti that is run by Americans.  I read Tom's (one of the orphanage founders) blog for a little bit.  Almost everything he wrote challenged me.  Actually, GLA's website in its entirety challenges me.  

James 1: 27 says this: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..."  For years, I blew through that verse, not giving it a second thought.  Then, my eyes were slowly opened as I became aware of the orphan crisis around the world.  I prayed and prayed, "God, WHAT?  God, HOW?"  How can I care for orphans from way over here in the FIRST WORLD?! And, then I began to question, "God, are you calling US to ADOPT?  What will our parents think?  Our house has lost value, and you want us to spend our money on an adoption?  We could pay off our car!  We only have a four bedroom home (not counting the guest bedroom in the basement)!  Our kids would have to (GASP! Sit down, now!)  SHARE...A...ROOM!  What would our over-the-top family vacations look like if we had FIVE kids?  I mean, our trip to Disney World in '09, our trip to Hawaii in '10?  Could we still afford things like that if we had FIVE kids?"  I questioned almost everything...how many times a week we could eat out with five kids, how much clothes would cost with five kids, sports fees, backpacks each fall and winter coats, could we handle all the homework?  I seriously questioned it all, and I almost came back thinking, "Nope!  We have enough kids!  I'll cut someone a check!  THAT, after all, is the EASIEST way to 'care for orphans'. (you know, cutting a check and not ACTUALLY having to CARE)"   That's when God pulled the rug out from under me using the REST of James 1:27, which says: "...and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  

Oh...

...dear

...me.

Repent.

I HAD ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE POLLUTED BY THE WORLD!!!

My guess is that you have, too...on some level.

This fast has opened my eyes to my wants, my desires, my needs, and to others who live CONSTANTLY with these SAME wants, desires, and needs.  These others, however, have NO ACCESS to these things, whereas mine are sitting right there in my pantry and in my refrigerator, and in my deep freezer in the basement.  MY kids will NEVER know what an empty stomach REALLY feels like, and neither will I, while most of the rest of the world will NEVER know what a FULL stomach feels like.  

You may have heard that there are 146,000,000 (or, ONE HUNDRED FORTY-SIX MILLION) orphans in the world.  I just read today that if we eradicated poverty, there would be TWENTY-NINE thousand orphans.  You heard that right, 29,000 orphans.  That means that 117,000,000 orphans are orphans ONLY because their mommies and daddies couldn't AFFORD TO FEED THEM.  

So, I apologize for complaining about "only" eating fruits and vegetables for the last thirty-six days. How very prideful of me.

"I repent, and I praise You, Father, for providing SO abundantly the foods I am able to serve my family, and for LAVISHING upon us this house and all the things inside it, and for our health!  May ALL honor and glory be Yours, Father!  YOU are the Giver of life!  Amen, Amen."

Kelly's DAY 32

It's Day 32...no biggie.

The thing about this fast is this:  I can talk spiritual things, because that is why I did this to begin with (ie. how God is working in and through me through this fast), and I can talk to people about the information I'm learning (ie. my conversation with my hairdresser last night)!

Funny thing that I've realized since we began is this:  If you ALLOW yourself to surrender to God's plan, and if you OBEY His calling, life will NOT get any EASIER!!! I REPEAT:  It will not get easier!!!  You would think it would work like that, right?  Disobey~life gets hard.  Obey~life is easy breezy!  Not how it works, folks!  If you actually surrender...if you ACTUALLY obey, you will undoubtedly experience some SERIOUS trials and/or temptations!  I mean, take Jesus' life, for instance!

"[Jesus] Who, being in very nature God, 

did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

but made himself nothing, 

taking the very nature of a servant,

being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man, 

he humbled himself and became obedient to death-

even death on a cross!"

Philippians 2: 6-8

Jesus obediently came to Earth to fulfill the Prophecy!  He had a job to do, and He did it.  Life down here wasn't EASIER for Him just because He obeyed!  It was HARD!  Remember, He knew what was coming in the Garden of Gethsemane, and He was so stressed out that he was sweating drops of BLOOD (read Luke 22: 39-46 for the whole scene)  He got absolutely PUMMELED the night before He went to the cross!  "...his [Jesus'] appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness-" Isaiah 52: 14  THAT doesn't sound EASY, does it?!  It sounds GROSS!  Can you imagine the outcry that would rise up NOWADAYS if someone was beaten "BEYOND HUMAN LIKENESS"?!!  Jesus' obedience was HARD!!

Come to think of it, Jesus NEVER had it EASY!  As SOON as He entered into ministry full-time, things got hard!  "Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil." Matt 4: 1  He was TEMPTED when He was FASTING for forty days and forty nights! 

I think I entered into this fast thinking it would clear my head, help me to focus on God, and hoping I could get answers to some of the questions I'd thrown out there into the atmosphere.  I was sort of taken aback when I came to some "crises" where I actually had to make physical progress forward in faith while wanting desperately to take back control of the situation.  I was taken aback when temptation crept up to the doorways of my heart.  WHY?!  Scripture's clear on this matter!  I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED this!  Thankfully, Hebrews 2: 18 tells us "Because he himself [Jesus] suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."  

I could go on and on talking about this subject.  There is SO MUCH in the Bible concerning this topic, but hopefully I have made my two points clear:  

1~If you act in obedience to God...if you surrender to His will, life may not get easier!  In fact, it MAY get HARDER!!!  There will be trials!

2~If you obey God, you will LIKELY encounter some major temptations in nearly every area of your life!

Why would I think it would go any differently for ME than it did for JESUS?!  

Hebrews 2: 17 tells us 

"...he had to be made like his brothers in every way, 

in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, 

and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people."  

 Jesus experienced EVERY temptation or trial we would go through.  He can relate!  I'm so thankful that He knows what we're going through!  The fact that He's "removing the dross" even as He refines ME into pure silver is humbling.

EVEN THOUGH it's gotten hard...

EVEN THOUGH I struggle through temptation...

He is MY Advocate!

Praise Jesus!

Kelly DAY 27

Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
NO.
Are we there yet?
NO!  Do NOT ask me again!  We're HOURS AWAY from where we're going!!!
That's how I feel right now.
It's like a flashback to circa 1989 when we were moving to Spain from Texas, but we drove to Utah to visit family and then to New York LaGuardia via CANADA!
THAT...is how I feel right now.
Stuck in a perpetual vegetable and fruit medley with days and days and days to go.
THAT...is how I feel right now.

Breakfast: Applesauce and two glasses of OJ
Lunch:  The family had this fantastic BBQ made by Michael the Mennonite.  I ate an avocado and steamed sugar snap peas when we got home.
Snack:  Two HUGE glasses of OJ.
Dinner:  The family had baked lasagna, homemade garlic bread I bought from our Mennonite Market, and asparagus.  I...had a plate full of asparagus.

I also made cookies, hot fudge sundaes, and muffins for our small group tomorrow.  Yep.  It's kinda like that.  Hours in the kitchen.  I end up steaming some steam-in-a-bag veggies for myself. 

It's all good.  I'm the one who said, "YES" to this, right?  I'm still trying to figure out WHY, exactly.  Maybe it's a lesson in self control?  Maybe it's just to see if I'd say "YES" and then obey?  Maybe I had a momentary lapse of sanity?  Regardless of the reason, I'm sorta feeling like God's far away today.  I feel like I've been BUSTIN' MY CHOPS...all alone. 

Adoption paperwork just might be the death of me.  I can't STAND all this PAPERWORK!!!  I'm DROWNING IN IT!! LITERALLY DROWNING IN PAPERWORK!!!  I don't even know what to do next, what I just did, what needs to be notarized, what doesn't, if my social worker even exists anymore!  I WANT OUT!!  Can I please HIRE SOMEONE ELSE to REDO OUR DOSSIER?!!!  Any takers?!!!  I'll put your children through college, pay to have your house cleaned weekly until you DIE, wash your car DAILY (including vacuuming the inside and windex-ing the windows), do all your laundry every week for five years, be on-call to babysit your children...and your children's children until the day I die, just DON'T MAKE ME DO ANY MORE PAPERWORK!!! 
NO MORE! 
NO MORE! 
GOD~WILL YOU MAKE A WAY?!!!
DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR PROMISE?!!!
IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?!!!

I need more orange juice.

Wall Street Journal Reports

"Opponents of genetically modified foods are making headway in California with a proposed ballot initiative that would require food companies to label many products containing such ingredients." 

Okay, so here on the East Coast, we tend to think "Left Coasters" are a little bit waack.  I'm probably generalizing big time here.  I LOVE California.  I also LOVE Californians (shout out to Chico, Mariah and Sebi and Jen and Cam!)!  But, in general, I think we think of them as "out there hippies."  Look what they have been up to, though!  This is pretty awesome!  Apparently Californians have been very busy collecting signatures of organically minded people in order to include this proposal in their November 6th elections!  They turned in millions of signatures of people who signed a petition, and by so doing, they have made their voices known.  WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S IN OUR FOOD!!!  They are seeking transparency in our food industry!  I'm with you, CALI!  We on the "Right Coast" tip our hats to YOU! KUDOS!

The Wall Street Journal reports that lawmakers in 20 states in the past year have pushed forward proposals that would require GMO enhanced products to be broadcast on the label.  Apparently none of these bills have become law yet, but it's in the running!  I have been wondering this for YEARS!  WHY won't you tell me what I'm EATING?!!!

Get this:  According to The Journal, the European Union, Japan, Australia, Brazil among other countries require GMO foods be labelled!  What Cali (and these other 20 states) are trying to push forward is NOT "out there hippie" talk!  It's what's called "NORMAL" in all these other countries!

The USDA, of course, says genetically engineered foods are no less safe than conventional foods.  How did this even come up for DEBATE?!  And, for the record, Kristin and I have been primarily focusing on vegetables to date, but it gets REALLY UGLY when you start talking about meat and dairy products!

Anyhow, Cali is up against some BIG DOGS....ever heard of Monsanto (the company that has the patent on the Round Up Ready Corn and was featured on the documentary FOOD INC)?  Dupont?  The Grocery Manufacturers Association, which includes 300 members, including Coca-Cola, and Kellogs, also are opponents of labeling GMO foods.  Remember that Coke and Kellogs are just a member of this Association, they may or may not back labeling GMO foods.  And, recently, I found that Coke and Kellogs actually alter their recipes to comply with laws and desires of other countries (Ever wondered why coke tastes different elsewhere?). 

So, I'm cheering you on from PA, CALI!!!  Go get 'em!  And, thank you, Ian Berry, of the Wall Street Journal, for your insightful article!  For the entire Wall Street Journal article, click HERE.

Kelly's DAY 24? 25?

What is going on here, Kristin? 

I think we lost count!  You posted day 24 yesterday, but I failed to post at all, and you posted day 24, which I posted two days ago!  I'm confused.  Did we accidentally just tack a day on to this bad boy?

Anyhow, Hey.

 My yesterday was CA-RAZY!  I ran out to grab some strawberries from Matt and Mary's farm stand.  When I got there, they looked so good that I bought 3 quarts! 

I went out to Paul's Country Market to buy their locally famous pretzels that are only sold on Thursday.  I scored the last bag of Cinnamon-Sugar Pretzels.  For those of you nonlocals, these are pretzels made by Mennonite women.  They are better than Auntie Anne's.  This was really hard, and as we speak, there are still four in my kitchen.

I ran to Kmart to get some envelopes, when I stumbled upon a display.  I took at picture on my phone, but my technologically slow self cannot figure out how to get it on this post!  What I saw was something called "STRAWMALLOWS."  Yes, strawmallows...doesn't that just sound appetizing?!  Anyhow, they are "marshmallows" that are pink and are in the shape of strawberries.  What a contrast I had in my morning.  I went to get farm fresh strawberries, then I walk into a store and found rock hard strawmallows.  That pretty much explains the American food supply at this point, so I won't go on about this and risk becoming redundant.  !)

I ran to pick my daughter up from Kindergarten and then went to my doctor's appointment.  After that, we ran to pick up my friend, Kari, for our lunch date.  I was more than relieved that she was game for Chipotle for lunch (therefore, I could actually eat on our lunch date).  Then, we went to Starbucks so the girls could have dessert (I had a Naked OJ).  Starbucks is offering their "Frappucino Happy Hour" coming up May 4-13 from 3-5pm for 1/2 priced Frappucinos.  Guess I'll totally miss that opportunity this year. 

I had a baked sweet potato and strawberries for dinner.

I read an interesting article in the Wall Street Journal that I will try to post on later today!

Sorry my posts have been "surface level" in the last couple of days.  I've been REALLY busy with some MAJOR stuff, and will probably be able to tell you about it in the next week or so! 
Have a great day!
Go out and buy some fresh, local strawberries today!
They have officially ushered summertime into my home!

Kelly's DAY 24!

Breakfast: Some peanut butter

Lunch: Lentil Soup

Dinner: An avocado that wasn't ripe, some peanut butter and corn salad (that corn salad is FINALLY gone!)

Snacks: Couple cups of OJ

Run: 4 painful miles

My friend, Maria, who is doing a similar fast to ours right now (GO, MARIA!!!) told me about her experience at our local Martin's grocery store.  At the checkout, the checkout lady asked her, "Are these [apples] the bubble gum flavored ones?"  Maria: "Um, NO.  I want my kids to like APPLE FLAVORED APPLES!"  (That was me paraphrasing Maria's explanation about their conversation)  Well, I looked a little further into these so-called "FLAVORED APPLES."  I mean, SERIOUSLY?!  I'm appalled.  The website for Crazy Apples says that they are "GMO free, 100% natural, no added sugars or preservatives" but they also say, "We can't tell you exactly how we do it, but we can tell you that magic doesn't compromise a Crazy Apple's wholesome start as a crisp, fresh apple."  Thanks, "Crazy Apple," but until you tell me what you're putting in that thing and how it becomes a "bubblegum apple," my kids are going nowhere near one! 

The scary thing is that schools around the country are offering these apples in the school lunches!  Check out what's new foods were offered at the School Nutrition Association's national convention held in Sin City (coincidence?) in 2009. Jerusha Klemperer, of The Slow Food USA Blog, says, "My personal favorite from the show was the Crazy Apple. In an attempt to get kids to eat more fruit, this company has developed apples that taste like bubble gum, cotton candy and tropical blast. Candy-flavored apples????? Next thing you know, they’ll be making bacon-flavored hamburger patties. Oh wait, they already do that…"  Jerusha, you are my new best friend! 

Folks, I don't know where this tangled food web ends.  I don't even know how to get to the bottom of this!  I could probably study apples for a YEAR and still not understand before I moved onto, oh, strawberries!  This is RIDICULOUS!  At what point did we become a country where we have every inalienable right...except for the right to know what's in our foods and how they process them?!  This same country, then, decided to tell us all that we're fat and require that we give our children chemically cleaned, freeze dried, sandblasted apple slices in our happy meals (that is OBVIOUSLY a gross exaggeration on my part...I'm relatively sure they don't sandblast their apple slices)!  So much for the "happy" in the meal!  Maybe they should rename them (Mystery Meals, anyone?).

Kelly reports: McDonald's "Apple" Dippers

WHAT do they PUT on the apple dippers?!!!
Am I the only one who has ever wondered this?
You bite into them. They are the TEXTURE of apples.
They are not at ALL showing signs of browning.
They taste NOTHING like APPLES!
WHAT CHEMICALS are they putting on those things?
Furthermore, can we even call them apples if they don't look like an apple is supposed to look after having been sliced, and they don't smell or taste like an apple is supposed to smell or taste?
 I tried to research this further, but the McDonald's website has little to no information on their "apples."

An article written by Melanie Warner and published in the New York Times states this:

"Each day, 50,000 shiny, fire-engine-red Gala apples work their way through a sprawling factory in Swedesboro, N.J. Inside, 26 machines wash them, core them, peel them, seed them, slice them and chill them. At the end of the line, they are dunked in a solution of calcium ascorbate and then deposited into little green bags featuring a jogging Ronald McDonald.

From there, the bags make their way in refrigerated trucks to refrigerated containers in cavernous distribution centers, and then to thousands of McDonald's restaurants up and down the Eastern Seaboard. No more than 14 days after leaving the plant, the fruit will take the place of French fries in some child's Happy Meal."

 Do you mean to tell me that whatever you put on these apples will keep them looking this "fresh" for FOURTEEN DAYS?!  I think I'll go slice and apple now and show you what IT looks like in FOURTEEN DAYS...then YOU can decide for YOURSELVES whether or not they are a good alternative to FRIES!  

 

Thanks, McDonald's, but I think I'll stick to the french fries!

Kelly's DAY 23

Breakfast: Cantaloupe and OJ

Lunch: Corn salad and Chickpeas

Dinner:  Carrots and Hummus

I would call myself a "runner."  I mean, I have some friends who are "RUNNERS!"  I'm just a "runner."  As in, I run 5 miles or more 3-4 times a week.  I've completed two half marathons (with times I was happy with) and numerous 5Ks.  I don't train for 5Ks; I just do them to do them to waste $20+ and get another running t-shirt.  I wondered what this fast would do to my running.  I totally thought it would do GOOD things, but it turns out that I think my body actually NEEDS meat to do things like...RUN....and...THINK...and...complete a SENTENCE (Is it even feasible that I've gotten DUMBER in the last 23 days?)!  Anyhow, I ran five miles tonight...five...hard...miles.  Actually, running instantaneously got harder on day one (I fully acknowledge that this could be purely mental.  Running, after all, is probably about 90% mental).

During my run today, I sucked in a bug.  This has happened on numerous occasions in the past.  If you're a "runner" or a "RUNNER," then you, too, have sucked in a bug.  Usually when that happens, I cough and hack and gasp and nearly die (you get the picture).  Then, I spend a good two minutes spitting...to make sure I don't have remnant bug in my being.  Today, I simply swallowed.  I knew I was delirious when I caught myself thinking "Hmm...I wonder if I got any protein outta that."  (For all you squeamish people out there, it was a very small bug)  !)

So, I'm sorry that I haven't had any new information on our food supply or even too much godly insight into what's going on inside spiritually speaking the last couple of days.  I'm focusing on some big things that I will be able to tell you about next week sometime.

Anyhow, I'm going to call this a day, pour myself another large glass of OJ, and watch some tv.  Have a good night! 

Kelly's DAY TWENTY-2

This morning I did my grocery shopping for the next couple of days.  You can read about my shopping experience HERE (if you missed it).

I had a Naked juice for breakfast.

Lunch was a HUGE salad that I added black beans and corn salad to.  It was massive...and good.

Dinner for the family was Cuban Pork Chops (boy, did THEY smell good), rice, Black beans (that I couldn't eat because they had "extras" in them), sauteed butternut squash.  The smells comin' outta those chops were amazing!  MY dinner, on the other hand, was butternut squash and Lentil Soup.  I was FINE eating the soup since I was freezing all day long (totally thought it was supposed to push 70 here today).

I'm starting to realize more about the ramifications of following God's call in your life.  People are always going to be quick to give advice, quick to give their input, quick to tell you, "you should do this" or "have you tried this?" or "WHY on EARTH would you do THAT?"  But, it reminds me of Paul, who said something along the lines of  "am I trying to please man rather than God?"  Answer: NO!  God's ways are HIGHER than man's ways!  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." Is 55:8  I have learned that in very concrete ways today!

So, all in all, after my minor Tea (pity) Party in Walmart today, God moved anyway.  He doesn't NEED me in order to accomplish HIS plans (go figure!).

"Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."  Gal 1:10

I cried in Walmart today~Kelly

I cried in Walmart today.

Let me back up...

We've had friends and family with good intentions sending us recipes and suggestions, all with well meaning intentions, which is GREAT!  HOWEVER, it's simply tempting me to "cheat the system."  For instance, I had a suggestion to buy non caffeinated herbal teas.  This is a GREAT idea, right?  So, I went to the tea section today and looked into them.  I called Kristin for backup.

Me: "Hey!  What do you think about buying non caffeinated herbal tea?
Kristin: "I've just been drinking hot water with mint in it."
Me: "Me, too...whaddaya think?"
Me:  "Actually, I'm just trying to find loopholes in our fast.  Nevermind.  I actually want some tea...ANY TEA...so bad right now I feel like I'm gonna vomit."
Kristin: "(laughs)  WE'RE HALFWAY THERE!!  WE CAN DO THIS!"
Me: "I know.  I JUST REALLY WANT TEA!!!  I WANT IT SO BAD!"
Kristin: "WE CAN DO THIS!"
Me: "I know.  I know.  I'm walking away right now.  I'm CRYING, but I'm walking away.  KRISTIN!  I'm CRYING OVER TEA!!!"
Kristin: "Good job."
Me: "Thanks.  Talk to ya later."

I cried over tea in Walmart today.

Kelly's DAY TWENTY-ONE

It's the FIRST DAY of the SECOND HALF of this long, hard road!
VICTORY!

I'm sitting here chomping on my dessert (apple slices) right now.

This morning, my husband sent my six-year-old daughter in to wake me up at 8:20.  We leave for church at 8:40, and NONE of my (3) kids were dressed.  My two girls' hair wasn't done, and I...well, just woke up.  Shortly before we were walking out the door, my youngest got sick.  Change of plans!  My husband dropped us me off, then dropped the kids off and left our small group coffee/blueberry muffins where our small group meets.  I rush in, sit next to my friend, turn around, and...VOILA!  Farmer Matt and Farmer Mary were sitting right behind me!  SWEET!  I chatted with them for a couple of minutes before I rushed over to set up for small group.  (I REALLY like my new friends!)  Anyhow, when I rushed off, Matt hollers after me, "STRAWBERRIES THIS WEEK!"  Oh, dear me.  I almost dropped dead in my tracks!  I have been dreaming of those sweet things since I scarfed them all down the day after our farm visit!  I'm PUMPED!  So, FARM FRESH STRAWBERRIES at Matt and Mary's by THURSDAY, folks!!!  GO GET 'EM!  (If you want me to pick some up for you, just let me know!)

13220 Edgemont Rd

Smithsburg, MD 21783

(if you live in town, it's just down past Cool's Pond on the right)

By the time I made it over for our small group, I realized I hadn't had anything to eat or drink this morning, and there were some good lookin' blueberry muffins and organic coffee was brewing!  I had hot water, but this time, I was smart enough to not let it get to "scald-your-entire-mouth" temperature.  

We hit up Chipotle for lunch!  BAM!  SO GOOD!  

I had some of my corn salad for dinner, a baked apple that Kristin brought over, some roasted soy beans and apple slices for dessert.

I find it odd that I STILL do not miss meat!  It didn't even pain me to watch everyone eat their steaks that were cooked to perfection on Friday night!  I've missed bread on occasion, and I've DEFINITELY missed coffee and tea and sweets, but not meat!  Although, I think my brain function has slowed significantly, and if you've ever had kids...you know you don't have many brain cells to spare.  So, I believe that your brain either needs meat, grains or dairy products to function at 100% (or as close to 100% as you can get).  !)  At least, that's what I'm telling myself.  

Hey!  Have a great week!  Don't forget to eat your veggies!  !)

My husband and some guys are meeting right now, and they asked me to come into the room so they could read me a verse, Proverbs 15: 17, which says, "Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred."

I agree.

  

Kelly's DAY TWENTY

HALF...WAY...THERE!!!
WHOOOOOOP!!!

Breakfast for me today was cantaloupes and Kelly's "not-at-all-famous" tea.

Next, we hit the soccer fields for back-to-back action of freezing cold soccer mania for an hour.  (Coulda used a hot chocolate from the concession stand, but I just froze to death instead.  For the record, my feet finally warmed up at 4:30)

 Kristin and I went to a brunch at noon celebrating our friend, Lori's, victory over breast cancer!!!  YAY!  I was nervous about having foods there that were "approved," so I shoved a big spoonful of peanut butter into my mouth and ran out the door.  Swallow, Swallow, SWALLOW!  I'm pulling outta my driveway, and realized, "it's not going down!"  So, I had to pull back in, run inside and gulp down some water.  I was running late, and that didn't help, but I made it (AND, I didn't choke to death, either)!  I was thankful that Kristin brought an "approved" salad with her.  It was fantastic!  Matt and Mary's lettuce, Matt and Mary's asparagus, Matt and Mary's strawberries and roasted soy nuts or something like that.  I took one bite and leaned over, "What kinda DRESSING is this?!"  Kristin: "Olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper."  Me: "WOW!  It's REALLY GOOD!!!"  (Are we officially WEIRD?)

For dinner, we pretty much scavenged around here because we had a lot of leftovers from our dinner last night.  I had salad and some black beans, OJ and strawberries for dessert.

I made mac-n-cheese for the kids, potatoes, corn and strawberries.

My HUSBAND made THIS for himself...

First of all, I think this looks DISGUSTING.  Seriously!  Potatoes on a TACO?  Is that even a TACO?  What purpose was he trying to accomplish in making this?  Is this a mockery?  It's like EVERYTHING I cannot eat wrapped into a tortilla, which I cannot EAT!  (I can have potatoes, but you get the point)

I've been staring this cake DOWN...ALL...DAY!

It's 13x9 inches of chocolately dreaminess.

This cake is my downfall.

I love it.

I love it so much I would marry it.

(What am I, in Kindergarten?)

HALF...WAY...THERE!!!

Kelly's DAY NINETEEN

My day began like this...

I was doing my hair (the messy way, so it only takes 5 minutes, tops), and my two-year-old comes upstairs covered...COVERED in FLOUR!  She said, "Mommy, I was makin' you pancakes."  DREAD.  I walked the plank downstairs to survey the damage.  Flour ALL over our leather ottoman.  Herbs de Provence were out...I'm just glad she didn't add the other necessary ingredients, and that WAS thoughtful of her, but I CAN'T EAT PANCAKES!!!  !)

So, I ate the strawberries that Matt and Mary gave us last night for breakfast.  Oh, MAN, were they good!

For lunch, I had some vegetarian soup that I bought from The Butcher Shop.  While I was at the Butcher shop, I asked the butcher where the meat comes from.  He told me the western US and Canada.  He said they're grain and grass fed, but not organic, and while The Butcher Shop does have a fair selection of organic produce, they are not an organic store in total.  After learning more about organic vs. conventional farming, I'm not totally convinced that going organic in my vegetables is completely necessary, but I totally agree with Matt that we need to know our farmers and "pick their brains" regarding what is in and on my food!  The soup was "OK."  It wasn't fab, but it definitely left me full! 

We had dinner guests over tonight, so I made a homemade Texas sheet cake.  We grilled out steaks, I made a rockin' salad with the greens that Matt and Mary gave me yesterday, corn salad, fruit salad and crash potatoes (a Pioneer Woman recipe).  I could have gone to town on the bread rolls.  They looked (and smelled) so good!  I got them from The Butcher Shop-the french bread rolls.  I also could have gone to town on the finished cake.

My "downfall" of the day was when I had finished icing the cake, I had extra icing that I just wanted SO BADLY to chow down on!  I didn't, but, OH, MAN, did I want to!

I didn't have a good day in general.  I think it was because my night owl friend, uhem~Kristin, kept me up writing our blog about being "down on the farm."  Okay, so she didn't twist my arm, but I was up past my "curfew," and I felt it today.

Bedtime. 

Kelly's DAY EIGHTEEN~I'm outta fight.

When I have fasted in the past, it's been a "I'm going to give up all foods for thirty hours or so...just enough to make me hungry and remember to pray" kinda thing.  I've observed Lent before where I gave up some seriously tough things (YOU try giving up sweets when your favorite candy in the whole wide world~Cadbury Mini Eggs~is only available at Easter time).  I mean, Dallas and my birthdays BOTH fall during Lent!  I couldn't even eat my own birthday cake that year!  I did that to focus on Jesus (I'm sure my birthday cake pity party made Him feel extra special, I mean, LOOK at what I sacrificed for Him~note: sarcasm).

I was talking to Kristin this morning, and I was going into a little more detail about my "stuck-in-a-tunnel" experience.  I told her that I'm fresh outta "fight, and I'M A FIGHTER!"  To which she replied, "You ARE a fighter!!!"  To which I replied, "I WAS a fighter.  It's all gone."

Spent. 

Done. 

Out.  

Fresh.  

Outta. 

Fight.  

I surrender.

On Easter Sunday, our church sang a song (I believe it's by Chris Tomlin).  The chorus says, "We raise our white flag, we surrender all to You..."  I'm wavin' my white flag high (not literally...that'd just be weird).  It's over.  The war between who's gonna be "god" is over.  You win, Lord!  You can have Your job back.  I took my idol off Your throne, and then I jumped out of it (dethroning myself).  You  can do what You do best, and I will TRY to follow as best as my mortal/carnal man self can do.

Is it possible for giving up everything but fruits and vegetables to hurt this much?  Or is that just the Refiner's fire that hurts?  Kristin said that she read somewhere that the Refiner's firs should be a happy experience, but that she disagrees, and I do, too.  FIRE HURTS, MAN!

I said to Kristin, "I ASKED Him to do this!  I INVITED this when I said, 'Yes, Lord'."  But, this is PAINFUL!  It's stretching me BEYOND my limits!  As in, "I don't know if I can carry on" stretching me!  This Refiner's fire?  It's HOT!  HOT!!!  But, He's removing the dross in the process.  I'm hoping that after DAY FORTY (haha!  That seems SO VERY FAR AWAY RIGHT NOW), I will be able to say that this was ALL WORTH IT, because I already see how God is working in me through this fast!  It's amazing!  HE is amazing!

I'm going to say G'night now.  It's late.  I'm tired.  I've got nothin' left.
Grace and Peace,
~k

Kelly and Kristin's Great Farm Adventure~DAY EIGHTEEN

Tonight, Kristin "hooked us UP!"  She has old friends, Matt and Mary Harsh, who were educated at Virginia Tech in horticulture and biology (respectively).  Matt also has a Masters in Farm Management from Lincoln Tech in New Zealand!  Well, the good news, for you local folks, is that they are BACK IN TOWN and Farmin'!  BAM!

We visited their amazing greenhouse and farm tonight, and were innundated with new ideas and information to chew on...AND...they gave us REAL stuff to chew on as well (ie. their own lettuce mix, asparagus, and strawberries!)

We asked Matt and Mary about organic farming.  They made us aware that organic does NOT mean that it hasn't been treated and is "au naturale."  There is a list of organic approved insecticides and pesticides that will blow your mind, baby!

Matt talked about two kinds of GMOs (genetically modified organisms) tonight, "Round up ready" and "BT infused."  We found out that very nearly all corn IS "round up ready" meaning it is nearly impossible for corn and soybeans in the world to NOT include some form of "round up resistant" gene in it.  "Round up ready" gene is patented by Monsanto, which you may have heard of if you've watched the documentary "Food Inc."  The good news about this gene is that when round up is sprayed on the field to kill the weeds, it will not kill the corn.  Farmers no longer have to till their land in order to plant their corn or soybeans, which reduces soil erosion and sediment in the Chesapeake Bay (sediment being the #1 pollutant in the bay).  Since the round up ready gene has made its way into the general corn population, it is nearly impossible to get corn in America that does NOT have the gene.  Our question is, "Is this a BAD thing?"  Kelly watched a lecture a week or so ago that mentioned that food allergies have increased drastically since the round up gene was introduced, so we're at a loss right now.  So here's the deal.  Kristin and Kelly both LIKE CORN.  We're not going to stop eating it, so deal with it.  You kind of have to be okay with eating round up ready corn.  It's everywhere (except, apparently, New Zealand) !)

Onto the "BT corn gene."  BT is an insecticide that has been introduced into the DNA/RNA of the corn.  BT corn will kill any worm that bites it.  BT is also on the list of organically approved insecticides, meaning that some organic farms use BT.  So how do you tell the difference between Round up Ready corn and BT corn?  We will never know.  This also only scratches the surface of GMO corn, we realize, but it's all we could comprehend tonight, and we think Matt picked up on that.  By the way, we must put a disclaimer up:  We may have gotten this ALL WRONG.  !)

After our "lesson," we got a tour of their (Kelly) "FABULOUS" (Kristin) "AMAZING" greenhouse!  They have it ALL!  Flowers, herbs, veggies, lettuces, even llamas (though they were NOT in the greenhouse, and you may not want to eat them).  Matt let us taste his tasty lettuce (and then GAVE us a whole lotta lettuce!).  Kristin is going back to buy her herbs to grow at home soon!  They even sell their bell pepper to WEGMANS!  Well, Wegmans, we can one-up you now!  We're goin' straight to the source!

After that, Mary gave us some asparagus from their market stand, which...listen up, folks: YOU CAN BUY FROM, TOO!!!  They are not an organic farm, but they do not (knowingly~remember, the round up ready has made its way into the general American corn population) use GMO seed.  They are very environmentally conscious, which is a perk!  They do not currently use manure because of the risk of infection, and if he does use it in the future, he told us that he will apply it in the fall.

13220 Edgemont Rd

Smithsburg, MD 21783

(if you live in town, it's just down past Cool's Pond on the right)



We met up with Matt "down on the farm" after that and picked strawberries that were amazing!  Matt came up to us and said, "If you're REALLY committed to this, try THIS ONE!"  ("THIS ONE" was a strawberry that was littered with worm holes)  Our reply? "WE have Young Life in us.  We'll try anything once.  Your worm hole strawberry doesn't scare us."  Chomp, chomp...oh, baby...SO...GOOD.  Matt said the worms eat the GOOD ONES, and he...was...right.

Then, they gave us a tour of the farm, and we chatted it up for awhile in under the cover of the barn, and we were on our way!  We found out that WALMART does what they can to buy their produce locally (better than Weis and Martins), however, they don't do a good job marketing that!  How are we supposed to know it's local, WALMART?!  We'd love to see them clearly display when they buy locally.  TIP:  If a fruit or vegetable is not in season...it is NOT LOCAL.  Matt also mentioned not to buy pears from the Northwest (he would not feed them to his own children)...cuz they spray those suckers somethin' fierce (emphasis-ours).  His big tip was this:  "KNOW YOUR FARMER!!!"  Your farmer knows exactly how the produce is grown.  He knows exactly what he treated the crops with.  That's important, folks!

All-in-all, we will both be hittin' them up for fruits and veggies ALL summer long, and they even pointed us in the direction of a book that will help us cook with produce that is in season.  We can tell y'all more about this after we figure it out, but we're EXCITED!

Our "painful" next field trip will be to Misty Meadows to learn more about milk, hormones and antibiotics..."PAINFUL" because they also sell ice cream.  And, you know...we're "VEGAN" right now, so pretty much everything they sell will be "painful."

"Nutrition Nuggets"

 Every so often, we get these "Nutrition Nuggets" sheets home from the school district.  They have ideas to stay active and eat healthy etc.  Normally I just trash them because, as a whole, we're a pretty healthy and active family.  And, I find it amusing that the school feels a need to tell me how to be healthy when they fed my son FRENCH TOAST for the school lunch yesterday.

Anyhow, yesterday, there was an article entitled, "What's in my food?"  My interest peaked.  Now, what does our school have to say on THIS subject?  They suggest that we teach our children to "check the ingredient label on packaged foods..."  Great advice, right?!  I mean, I just started checking labels 18 days ago!  I know how it works, but they explained we should have our kids take a couple of things out of the pantry and read the ingredient list: "Explain that ingredients are listed in order by amount-the food contains the most of the first ingredient and the least of the last ingredient..."

For kicks, I just pulled a box of KRAFT Mac and Cheese.
Ingredients:
Enriched Macaroni Product (How am I supposed to explain to my kids what "ENRICHED" macaroni is?)...OH...it must be the "ferrous sulfate, the thiamin mononitrate and riboflavin that makes it "enriched."  Never mind my previous question.  It's crystal clear now.
Cheese Sauce Mix:
Whey
Milkfat
Milk protein concentrate
salt
sodium tripolyphosphate
blah-de-blah (more stuff with "ates" at the end)
Yellow 5
Yellow 6
enzymes
cheese culture
 

Step 2, according to the article, is to explain sugar:  If it ends in "ose," it's sugar.  STAY AWAY!  !)

Step 3:  "When it comes to ingredient lists, shorter is usually better...long and complicated [words] are likely to be chemicals rather than natural foods."  Huh?  Yellow #5 is a "natural food"?  It's short and readable. !)

Something I liked about this article:  It's suggesting that you actually look at ingredient lists and teach your children how to as well.  That's a really great step!  To me, that says, PAY ATTENTION to what you are eating!!  It also suggested that you agree to only buy things that have five or fewer ingredients (another great tidbit!)

One thing that this article lacks is a lesson on produce.  I mean, how do I teach my children how to choose produce that's not loaded with pesticides that have been added to their very DNA?  How do I teach my kids how to choose "good" meat and milk?  I don't even know how to tell this information!  It's "hidden" from us!  Until two weeks ago, I didn't even KNOW that stuff was happening to our fruits and vegetables in America!

I'm super excited about tonight!  Kristin has a friend who is an actual farmer!  She and her husband graduated from Virginia Tech with some sort of agricultural degrees.  We're going to the farm tonight to learn more!  I mean, really...do we NEED to go organic?  Do farms exist that don't use GMOs?  I think we'll come away with tons of info for y'all!  I'm taking my notepad, pen and camera!  So, tune in for more later!  Have a good one, y'all!

Kelly's DAY SEVENTEEN

Today was a tough day...in general.

You know you're in for a GREAT day when you go to get your two-year-old, and there's poo smeared everywhere.  I don't even know how she got it out of her diaper!  The diaper was still in tact!  Anyhow, the sweet little thing said (as I was cleaning poo off her walls), "Thank you, Mommy, for cleaning the poo off my wall."  How do you get mad at THAT?
So, that's how it started...

I went to Bible study, where there was some fantastic looking chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting.  There was also a fruit salad that looked fantastic, but someone "messed with it," and therefore, it was NOT okay to eat.  Bummer.  It seriously looked and smelled amazing.

Lunch: "Israeli salad"  We recently went to Israel, and in Israel, they start off every meal with "salad."  It's miniscule chopped cucumbers, tomatoes, red onion, olive oil, salt, pepper, and lemon juice.  I make it every so often now.

I had a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter today (I'm seriously nervous that my body is not getting enough protein, for some reason, although, if you read my post yesterday, you know that I've gone through 1 and a half jars of peanut butter in the last 17 days-Pretty sure I'm getting ENOUGH).

I had an avocado for an afternoon snack, ran 5 miles, and then had bell peppers and hummus for dinner.

Spiritually speaking...
A lot of things are all jumbled up in the wash right now...spiritual things...things God is working through and out in me...things I still can't put into words yet, because they don't make sense to me.  And, if that doesn't make sense to you, or you would like me to go ahead and just spat it out on paper here, forget it.  That post would be a billion pages long, but so you get an idea of what I'm talking about, read on:

I was telling Dallas the other night..."You know how they say they can see the light at the end of the tunnel?  And, then there are those people who say they can't even see the end of the tunnel?  I feel like I stepped into a tunnel at some point, the tunnel disappeared, and now I'm just standing in blackness.  No tunnel to follow, no road even.  No light at 'the end.'  No end in sight."   This is in relation to our adoption, not this fast or my faith.  On the contrary, I KNOW my God has this entire tunnel mapped out.  He knows where the end is.  He IS the light.  I don't even need to know those details right now.  All I need to know is that HE is the ALPHA and the OMEGA, the FATHER to the FATHERLESS, the EVERLASTING FATHER.

You might be wondering what this has to do with eating.  It has EVERYTHING to do with eating, because when you take away what consumes you, THEN God can "get to work" in you!  If it weren't for this fast, my jumbled mess would just remain a jumbled mess, and I would obliviously continue on in my life thinking that I was trusting and resting in God.  In stripping my diet down to only fruits and veggies, I'm stripping off that "top layer" where I can put on my "christian girl costume," and all that's left is "REAL Kelly.  RAW Kelly."  The stuff that bandaids won't cover up.  The stuff that God will deal with is exposed.  It's a weird place to be, "exposed."  But, HE is refining me.  I feel like this is REALLY the first time I have actually allowed Him to be the "Potter."  It's the first time that I've been okay with being pummeled and reshaped into HIS design. 

So, Day 17...good riddance.
And, Lord Jesus!  If I am the clay, please tell me you're making a SMALL pot!! 

Kelly's DAY SIXTEEN

 This morning did not go as planned.  My alarm clock (my two-year-old) went off just before 7am.  I forgot to reset my REAL alarm for 6:15, my normal waking time.  That threw me off.

Anyhow, I had some grapes, peanut butter and OJ for breakfast.

Lunch was a couple carrots, more grapes, and a can of Amy's organic soup.

Dinner was a can of Amy's organic soup and a bag of "French Green Beans" from Walmart's new "Marketside" line.  I sauteed them in olive oil and garlic.  On the bag, it says, "ALL NATURAL."  I scoff at things that say "ALL NATURAL" these days.  That's a bunch of bologna, folks!  DEFINE..."ALL NATURAL."  This Marketside stuff is NOT organic.  It's probably blasted full of GMOs (genetically modified organisms), but I can't just assume that, so I wrote an email to the people at Walmart who deal with produce related inquiries:

"In the quest to make sure I'm serving my family healthy ingredients, I have recently researched GMOs and organic produce verses "regular" produce.  I decided that I was "food dumb" before my recent research.  What bothers me is the fact that Walmart stores do not have a wide selection of organic vegetables and meats.  On top of that, they allow labels to charm their customers into buying them with slogans such as "All Natural."  What vegetable ISN'T "All Natural"?  To the "food dumb" consumer, that slogan probably works, but I'm not buying that slogan anymore.  I refuse to feed my family produce that has been intoxicated with GMOs any longer.  Why would I want to feed my family something that has been genetically altered?  I understand that Walmart in other countries has catered to the consumers when faced with tough decisions, but that the "food dumb" Americans have not caused enough hype to make any change in our nation's food supply.  I want you, at Walmart, to know, that as for me and MY family, we're choosing to purchase the slightly higher cost organic produce, be it from Walmart or a local farmer.  I believe there has been a shift in our society ongoing for some time now, and it would benefit Walmart to be proactive in stocking their shelves with organic certified produce and meats."

We went to a local ice cream place tonight and got ice cream (I should say, I sat there and watched them eat ice cream).  Oh...ice cream...one day we will dance again!

On top of my "food stuff" today, we've been praying, praying, praying about adoption related stuff that would be more relevant for me to post on our family blog than here, so I will do that as soon as I can sort through my thoughts on things related to our adoption.  However, I have made Psalm 63: 1-8 my "Battle Cry," and my soul will cling to Him!

He will satisfy me as with the richest of foods, that passage tells me.  So, I continue on, eating only fruits and veggies, and cling to that hope.  That, though I'm eating carrots...again.  Though I eat yet another apple...again.  Though I have gone through 1 and a half jars of peanut butter in the last 16 days... Though I have only just 16 days ago started to eat avocados as they stand...GOD is, to me, the "richest of foods!"  HE is my "steak!"  HE is my "yogurt!"  HE is my "ice cream!"  HE is my "spaghetti!"  As much as I crave the foods that everyone else in my house, and most people in America can eat, I should be craving HIM with as much enthusiasm!  I make that my prayer, that I would crave GOD with a steadfast heart...more than I crave ANY food or thing on this earth.

My Battle Cry~Kelly

If you read "Kelly's Day Fifteen," you know that I'm experiencing a "void."  Today, I went on a word search.  I did a little word study on "satisfy," but I didn't look far before I found my new "Battle Cry."  Maybe you'll adopt it as your own!

"O God, you are my God,  earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.  I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.  Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.  I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.  My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;  with singing lips my mouth will praise you...My soul clings to you;  your right hand upholds me."  Psalm 63: 1-8

Kelly's DAY FIFTEEN

I
am
not
satisfied.

I wanted chicken and tortillas in my tortilla soup for dinner.  I wanted cheese in it, too.  Oh, and sour cream would have been nice.  I wanted a glass of red wine this evening, and as it turns out, orange juice in a wine glass still just tastes like orange juice in a wine glass.  I wanted a cup of hot tea or hot chocolate on this frigid spring day, and hot water just doesn't cut it on days like this one!  I wanted a handful of chocolate chips.  I wanted to make cookies...and EAT THEM this time!  I wanted some Starbucks since I drove past two today!  I wanted a bowl of cereal for breakfast!  I wanted a cup of chocolate milk! Yogurt! Macaroni and Cheese!

I've been eating a variety of vegetables and fruits.  It's not like I'm only eating raw carrots of anything, but what I AM eating is just not "hittin' the spot."  There's this desire for some sort of food that I just can't have.  Nothing I'm eating is satisfying me!  It's not filling the VOID!  I have a LITERAL void in my life right now!

MILK...VOID!
MEAT...VOID!
BREADS...VOID!
SWEETS...VOID!
TEA...VOID!
STARBUCKS...VOID!
I CANNOT FILL THE VOID!

It reminds me of the void I had once.  The void that only Jesus can fill.  The void that I feel now, only Jesus can fill...otherwise it's just a void that will be filled with my idol in 25 short days.  I want to turn my urge for foods and beverages into an urge for Jesus and His Word!  I want Him, and Him alone, to satisfy me!  I want to take my hurts, my hopes, my dreams, my desires, my voids, my dissatisfaction to the cross!  I want to REST in Him...TRUST in Him and His plan!  I WANT THAT!

Fill the void, my Love!
~Your Beloved