Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts

Monday, May 14, 2012

Kelly's DAY 36---NEEDS

“What if God’s will for our life is found wherever someone’s need and our ability intersect?” ~unknown

I was reading God's Littlest Angels Orphanage website today. GLA is an orphanage in Haiti that is run by Americans.  I read Tom's (one of the orphanage founders) blog for a little bit.  Almost everything he wrote challenged me.  Actually, GLA's website in its entirety challenges me.  

James 1: 27 says this: "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..."  For years, I blew through that verse, not giving it a second thought.  Then, my eyes were slowly opened as I became aware of the orphan crisis around the world.  I prayed and prayed, "God, WHAT?  God, HOW?"  How can I care for orphans from way over here in the FIRST WORLD?! And, then I began to question, "God, are you calling US to ADOPT?  What will our parents think?  Our house has lost value, and you want us to spend our money on an adoption?  We could pay off our car!  We only have a four bedroom home (not counting the guest bedroom in the basement)!  Our kids would have to (GASP! Sit down, now!)  SHARE...A...ROOM!  What would our over-the-top family vacations look like if we had FIVE kids?  I mean, our trip to Disney World in '09, our trip to Hawaii in '10?  Could we still afford things like that if we had FIVE kids?"  I questioned almost everything...how many times a week we could eat out with five kids, how much clothes would cost with five kids, sports fees, backpacks each fall and winter coats, could we handle all the homework?  I seriously questioned it all, and I almost came back thinking, "Nope!  We have enough kids!  I'll cut someone a check!  THAT, after all, is the EASIEST way to 'care for orphans'. (you know, cutting a check and not ACTUALLY having to CARE)"   That's when God pulled the rug out from under me using the REST of James 1:27, which says: "...and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  
Oh...
...dear
...me.

Repent.
I HAD ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE POLLUTED BY THE WORLD!!!
My guess is that you have, too...on some level.

This fast has opened my eyes to my wants, my desires, my needs, and to others who live CONSTANTLY with these SAME wants, desires, and needs.  These others, however, have NO ACCESS to these things, whereas mine are sitting right there in my pantry and in my refrigerator, and in my deep freezer in the basement.  MY kids will NEVER know what an empty stomach REALLY feels like, and neither will I, while most of the rest of the world will NEVER know what a FULL stomach feels like.  

You may have heard that there are 146,000,000 (or, ONE HUNDRED FORTY-SIX MILLION) orphans in the world.  I just read today that if we eradicated poverty, there would be TWENTY-NINE thousand orphans.  You heard that right, 29,000 orphans.  That means that 117,000,000 orphans are orphans ONLY because their mommies and daddies couldn't AFFORD TO FEED THEM.  

So, I apologize for complaining about "only" eating fruits and vegetables for the last thirty-six days. How very prideful of me.

"I repent, and I praise You, Father, for providing SO abundantly the foods I am able to serve my family, and for LAVISHING upon us this house and all the things inside it, and for our health!  May ALL honor and glory be Yours, Father!  YOU are the Giver of life!  Amen, Amen."

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Kelly DAY 27

Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
NO.
Are we there yet?
NO!  Do NOT ask me again!  We're HOURS AWAY from where we're going!!!
That's how I feel right now.
It's like a flashback to circa 1989 when we were moving to Spain from Texas, but we drove to Utah to visit family and then to New York LaGuardia via CANADA!
THAT...is how I feel right now.
Stuck in a perpetual vegetable and fruit medley with days and days and days to go.
THAT...is how I feel right now.

Breakfast: Applesauce and two glasses of OJ
Lunch:  The family had this fantastic BBQ made by Michael the Mennonite.  I ate an avocado and steamed sugar snap peas when we got home.
Snack:  Two HUGE glasses of OJ.
Dinner:  The family had baked lasagna, homemade garlic bread I bought from our Mennonite Market, and asparagus.  I...had a plate full of asparagus.

I also made cookies, hot fudge sundaes, and muffins for our small group tomorrow.  Yep.  It's kinda like that.  Hours in the kitchen.  I end up steaming some steam-in-a-bag veggies for myself. 

It's all good.  I'm the one who said, "YES" to this, right?  I'm still trying to figure out WHY, exactly.  Maybe it's a lesson in self control?  Maybe it's just to see if I'd say "YES" and then obey?  Maybe I had a momentary lapse of sanity?  Regardless of the reason, I'm sorta feeling like God's far away today.  I feel like I've been BUSTIN' MY CHOPS...all alone. 

Adoption paperwork just might be the death of me.  I can't STAND all this PAPERWORK!!!  I'm DROWNING IN IT!! LITERALLY DROWNING IN PAPERWORK!!!  I don't even know what to do next, what I just did, what needs to be notarized, what doesn't, if my social worker even exists anymore!  I WANT OUT!!  Can I please HIRE SOMEONE ELSE to REDO OUR DOSSIER?!!!  Any takers?!!!  I'll put your children through college, pay to have your house cleaned weekly until you DIE, wash your car DAILY (including vacuuming the inside and windex-ing the windows), do all your laundry every week for five years, be on-call to babysit your children...and your children's children until the day I die, just DON'T MAKE ME DO ANY MORE PAPERWORK!!! 
NO MORE! 
NO MORE! 
GOD~WILL YOU MAKE A WAY?!!!
DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR PROMISE?!!!
IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?!!!

I need more orange juice.