Breakfast Confession: I didn't have time to eat breakfast this morning. Actually, I HAD time to eat, I just didn't have time to slice fruit, if you know what I mean. Funny how this "FAST" forces us to "SLOW DOWN" and reflect, all because of food.
Lunch: Half an avocado (The avocados "The Man" purchased last night are nowhere near ripe), some tortilla chips (Kristin and I decided last time that CORN is a vegetable, not a grain-just go with it-and therefore, tortilla chips are okay assuming they are only made with corn and salt, 'K?), and a few carrots.
Snack: Carrots (I told you I need to go grocery shopping)
Dinner: Couple tortilla chips, a bowl of strawberries and a HUGE glass of 100% Orange Juice (Oh, no. HERE she goes again with the OJ).
MY DAY:
Went to church this morning expectant. We are so blessed to worship under our Pastor, Steven Furtick, of Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC. EVERY single week, Pastor Steven "brings it." His transparency is refreshing. His fervor for the Gospel is refreshing. I leave my church every Sunday morning knowing God loves me...even in my sin...even in my turmoil...even when I want to run the other way, and every Sunday, I leave Elevation feeling challenged to pursue Him more ardently. THIS morning, in particular, I left church reminded of my covenant relationships. For all you "Elevators" out there, you might be thinking, "Did you go to...ELEVATION Church this morning (Our church is in the middle of "Crash the Chatterbox", a series based off of our pastor's book "Crash the Chatterbox")? Because, I learned about 'The Chatterbox,' and how he uses this thing called SHAME." Yes, brothers and sisters, I DID go to our beloved Elevation this morning. After Pastor Steven finished his sermon, Pastor Ken got up to serve us Communion. If you've been around awhile, you are constantly reminded that "communion" is "ONENESS" with God. However, this morning, Pastor Ken reminded me (I say "ME" because I believe God spoke right to my heart during communion) that the blood represents our COVENANT relationship with God. The relationship that I take for granted daily, the relationship that was sealed in blood, the relationship based out of the purest love one can have for a man or a woman, is a covenant relationship. When I invited Jesus in, HE signed a covenent agreement with me...with His own blood. I signed it with my faith confession and my baptism.
He gave death.
He gave life.
He gave covenant.
I received HIS death.
I received HIS life.
I WILL receive HIS inheritance.
I RECEIVED HIS COVENANT.
He GAVE. I RECEIVED.
Covenant.
If you read my post entitled "Pre Fast Mourning," you know that I have spent quite some time angry at God. Hear me now, folks.
Even in my anger.
Even in my resentment.
He loved me.
Covenant.
Even in my sin.
Even in my shame.
He loved.
Covenant.
EVEN WHEN WE BREAK COVENANT, HE DOES NOT.
HE.
CAN.
NOT.
Why? Because THIS covenant was written because HE LOVES ME.
God *IS* LOVE!
Covenant.
I think I had succumbed to the LIE that "GOD TOOK" from me.
(Cue "Chatterbox")
"HE took you out of the town you love.
Your husband doesn't love you. If he REALLY did, he would NEVER have pulled you out of that town.
God REALLY wants you to be isolated.
You don't have any friends, and you WON'T have any.
You don't fit in here.
You have no ministry here.
Your kids are just a number at their school."
STEP AWAY FROM ME, SATAN!
God does NOT TAKE!
HE GIVES!
HE ALWAYS HAS!
HE ALWAYS WILL!
"The Man" asked me why I was doing this fast yesterday. I told him that I felt like God was nudging me to do this to draw me back to Him. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I know God and I are about to "HASH SOME THINGS OUT" here...
*HERE*
So, if you are the "faint of heart" type, you should probably go buy a good set of tweezers so you can remove the plank from your eye...you know, so you can see clearly to take the plank outta mine? It'll be sorta like a "you scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours" exercise.
Who's with me?
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Kristin's Day One - It's never a good time...
It's never a good time to fast. Like ever. There will always be a party or trip or SOMETHING. So, do we reschedule and try again next time? Maybe, but I just can't reschedule right now.
Last night and today, we celebrated Nastassja's 9th birthday. She is currently horse obsessed so we made a weekend of it.
Last night we stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. This hotel offers free breakfast which would've been awesome but there were only 3things I could actually have, an apple, a banana, and orange juice. Nastassja enjoyed her pancakes, ham, and cinnamon bun 😊
Today we went to Horse World Expo at the Farm Show complex in Harrisburg PA. No outside food permitted. We shopped horse vendors for hours and watched demonstrations. My stomach and head were complaining from the lack of food and coffee. Finally...lunchtime. The only thing that even came close to fitting within the fast were a side of French fries and water. Yep. I simply texted 'Dude' to Kelly. (PS-I will never stop using that word)
As soon as Nastassja and I got home, Andy and I had a meeting, and then date night in. I sautéed up some mushrooms and garlic, added diced tomatoes, and served it over sliced potatoes. Today was a whirlwind that would've been easier if I was not fasting. It's never a good time, but it's time. I fast because Jesus did. I am too much of a wimp to do this on my own so I'm so grateful that Kelly will journey away from most food and toward God with me.
- My best friend has been waiting for YEARS for the most adorable boys ever
- Some of my YL friends want to choose Christ but...
Last night and today, we celebrated Nastassja's 9th birthday. She is currently horse obsessed so we made a weekend of it.
Last night we stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. This hotel offers free breakfast which would've been awesome but there were only 3things I could actually have, an apple, a banana, and orange juice. Nastassja enjoyed her pancakes, ham, and cinnamon bun 😊
Today we went to Horse World Expo at the Farm Show complex in Harrisburg PA. No outside food permitted. We shopped horse vendors for hours and watched demonstrations. My stomach and head were complaining from the lack of food and coffee. Finally...lunchtime. The only thing that even came close to fitting within the fast were a side of French fries and water. Yep. I simply texted 'Dude' to Kelly. (PS-I will never stop using that word)
As soon as Nastassja and I got home, Andy and I had a meeting, and then date night in. I sautéed up some mushrooms and garlic, added diced tomatoes, and served it over sliced potatoes. Today was a whirlwind that would've been easier if I was not fasting. It's never a good time, but it's time. I fast because Jesus did. I am too much of a wimp to do this on my own so I'm so grateful that Kelly will journey away from most food and toward God with me.
Kelly's Day One~Animal lovers? No.
Ever felt that pre breakfast panic?
The "Oh, no! I have no breakfast food in the house!"
Better yet, right after you pour a huge bowl of cereal, "One THIRD of ONE CUP of MILK?! FAMILY MEETING! WHO used all the milk?!"
I had that panic this morning after yoga.
NO APPLES?!
Oh, wait! I have some clementines!
SWEET!
I had three for breakfast.
Lunch: An avocado and some carrots.
Dinner: A vegetarian spud (hold the cheese) from McAlisters. God bless McAlisters. I'll probably be best friends with that sweet little gal taking my order by the end of this...the one who was trying to get me to add butter and sour cream...Bless her heart. She knows not what she does. For my "Northern" friends and those who know not what McAlisters is, google it. Then, swing down to any true Southern town worth visiting. Ask for a "tea." They'll bring it to ya sweet...the way it should be. The thing about McAlisters "spuds" is that I'm pretty sure it's actually TWO spuds they bring you, unless they purchase genetically mutated potatoes.
Point? They fill you up.
Point B, lest you begin to think that I cheated and had sweet tea: I drank water.
I don't want to speak for Kristin, but we're not animal lovers.
I mean, we both have dogs, but come on. That's really for the kids, right?
Coffee lovers? Yes.
People lovers? Yes.
Animal lovers? Not so much.
Let's put it this way:
I don't even like my own dog.
This weekend, Kristin found herself at a horse show (AT one, NOT IN one.I'll let her tell you about that later), and I found myself at the zoo. I (arguably) live in a zoo daily, but the animals at this particular zoo were much calmer than the "animals" I keep day in and day out.
I packed myself some carrots for a zoo snack so I didn't try to throw a quarter in one of those goat pellet machines and try to eat whatever the heck came out. I'm pretty sure they would not break any "fast rules" we have laid out, but still...
While at the zoo (the actual one, not my house), I got this text from Kristin:
"Dude." (Nevermind the "dude" part. I've been trying to get her to quit that phrase like the rest of us thirty-somethings did circa 2001, but she keeps holding on...maybe for good luck...maybe because she knows it grates on my nerves...maybe it's just the one thing she holds on to in order to remember yesteryear. She has a heart of gold. I can overlook "dude." Character flaw? Yes. Deal breaker? No.)
My reply? "Yeah...I need a major grocery run!"
Kristin: "Me. Too."
Thankfully, "The Man" (as I affectionately have him plugged into my contact in my phone) had to return a Red box movie, so I sent him a short grocery list:
apples (Please come home with Gala! Please come home with Gala!)
strawberries
cilantro
limes
avocados
AND, Amy's Organic Soups (shoot! I forgot to tell him which kind!)
For those of you who followed our journey last time, you know I DOWNED peanut butter. I'm going to have to go somewhere other than Walmart for that 'round these parts. They do NOT sell PB unless it's packed with "other things." I guess people who shop in their jammies like "other things" in their peanut butter.
AND, "The Man" just got home.
Got the wrong soup.
It's all good.
At least I won't have a pre breakfast panic in the morning.
The "Oh, no! I have no breakfast food in the house!"
Better yet, right after you pour a huge bowl of cereal, "One THIRD of ONE CUP of MILK?! FAMILY MEETING! WHO used all the milk?!"
I had that panic this morning after yoga.
NO APPLES?!
Oh, wait! I have some clementines!
SWEET!
I had three for breakfast.
Lunch: An avocado and some carrots.
Dinner: A vegetarian spud (hold the cheese) from McAlisters. God bless McAlisters. I'll probably be best friends with that sweet little gal taking my order by the end of this...the one who was trying to get me to add butter and sour cream...Bless her heart. She knows not what she does. For my "Northern" friends and those who know not what McAlisters is, google it. Then, swing down to any true Southern town worth visiting. Ask for a "tea." They'll bring it to ya sweet...the way it should be. The thing about McAlisters "spuds" is that I'm pretty sure it's actually TWO spuds they bring you, unless they purchase genetically mutated potatoes.
Point? They fill you up.
Point B, lest you begin to think that I cheated and had sweet tea: I drank water.
I don't want to speak for Kristin, but we're not animal lovers.
I mean, we both have dogs, but come on. That's really for the kids, right?
Coffee lovers? Yes.
People lovers? Yes.
Animal lovers? Not so much.
Let's put it this way:
I don't even like my own dog.
This weekend, Kristin found herself at a horse show (AT one, NOT IN one.I'll let her tell you about that later), and I found myself at the zoo. I (arguably) live in a zoo daily, but the animals at this particular zoo were much calmer than the "animals" I keep day in and day out.
I packed myself some carrots for a zoo snack so I didn't try to throw a quarter in one of those goat pellet machines and try to eat whatever the heck came out. I'm pretty sure they would not break any "fast rules" we have laid out, but still...
While at the zoo (the actual one, not my house), I got this text from Kristin:
"Dude." (Nevermind the "dude" part. I've been trying to get her to quit that phrase like the rest of us thirty-somethings did circa 2001, but she keeps holding on...maybe for good luck...maybe because she knows it grates on my nerves...maybe it's just the one thing she holds on to in order to remember yesteryear. She has a heart of gold. I can overlook "dude." Character flaw? Yes. Deal breaker? No.)
My reply? "Yeah...I need a major grocery run!"
Kristin: "Me. Too."
Thankfully, "The Man" (as I affectionately have him plugged into my contact in my phone) had to return a Red box movie, so I sent him a short grocery list:
apples (Please come home with Gala! Please come home with Gala!)
strawberries
cilantro
limes
avocados
AND, Amy's Organic Soups (shoot! I forgot to tell him which kind!)
For those of you who followed our journey last time, you know I DOWNED peanut butter. I'm going to have to go somewhere other than Walmart for that 'round these parts. They do NOT sell PB unless it's packed with "other things." I guess people who shop in their jammies like "other things" in their peanut butter.
AND, "The Man" just got home.
Got the wrong soup.
It's all good.
At least I won't have a pre breakfast panic in the morning.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Kelly's pre-fast mourning
Hey All.
It's been awhile.
...like, three years.
I'm still experiencing some food grief from that last fast.
To be truthful, I TRIED to fast like that again once.
I lasted roughly 20 days with a few cheats in there.
...then I quit.
...then Kristin got preggers, and I didn't have a "fast partner."
...and then I got mad at God.
...really mad.
...for a year.
(gasp)
I'm only saying it out loud. The Lord God looks at the heart. He already knew it. He knew I was mad. I just confessed it. He never let go...even when I wanted to. Let me explain...
My husband and I moved to this little "one horse town" in Pennsylvania in 2006. I didn't fit in there. I felt "extravagant" there. I needed a Target...a Starbucks...a mall. I had none of the above. Still, I KNEW that God had us move there. I had never been so convinced of God's will in my life before. Even though I could barely stand that little "one horse town" and felt like I didn't fit in, I was entirely committed to it because I knew God sent us there.
Flash forward to 2010 when our adoption began...I stepped back from the ministry that we were involved in, but I was in peace about it. Around about this time, I started to see this sweet little farm town for what it was...a hidden gem: A little bitty hidden town with a beautiful mountain range with a view that would take your breath away, a soccer complex with plush, green grass~"The Hills are Alive...Sound of Music...top of the Alps spinning in your play dress-apron flapping in the wind...grass", my favorite 5 mile running loop, my house where I could hear the cheers for the home team on a clear Friday night, that McDonalds that couldn't quite get that "fast food" idea down, the mentally disabled bagger at Martins who told me about her twin niece and nephew every time I went through...kinda town. Time went by, and it was already 2013. This military brat had lived in this little farm town longer than I had lived anywhere in my entire life. Somehow, this little blue collar town had won over my heart. The people of this town had welcomed me with open arms into their very family. I was FINALLY "FROM" somewhere...until my husband came home from work last January.
"They gave me Kings Mountain."
"Where's that?"
"North Carolina."
I'm not sure I've ever mourned something so fiercely for so long in my life. I've moved my entire life...every 3-4 years. I'm a seasoned veteran "mover." I HAVE NO ROOTS...or, I HAD no roots, until I claimed residence in that sweet little farm town with the "salt of the earth" people. I had made friends who I considered at least as close as family. I had community, a brotherhood and sisterhood of believers, people I could call on-who could call on me. And, it wasn't just because they were my friends. That is JUST how that town is; it is truly in the heartbeat of the people FROM that town. It is part of the culture there. It is who they are. God plucked me out.
Three months later, we were gone.
Three months later, we had a new "home town." If you google our new town, it looks amazing. First of all, it's a lake town, and who doesn't love that idea? The home values never went down, because it's a lake town AND it's a suburb of Charlotte, NC and all the big city has to offer! The schools? The best in SC! As in, all the children in grades 1-8 will be issued ipads next schoolyear, great. My son's new soccer complex? They hosted the youth national soccer tournament in 2012. All the fields have lights. Two turf fields with stadium seating. Professional (British) coaching staff. I began Stand Up Paddleboarding. We go kayaking. We hike to waterfalls. We have season passes to the Biltmore. It has only snowed once this winter. Our church? Amazing. You know, all the stuff you post on Facebook that looks amazing? We've got it here. I've lived here almost a year. I have a handful of friends (mainly from church) who are scattered about Metrolina. I've never been more lonely.
My anger toward God for plucking me out of my little farm town has been bitter. This move has been bitter. I want to move back. I want my old friends. I want my comfortable town. I want my old church, my old bible study, my old neighborhood, our old schools. If I'm being brutally honest, and I'm going to be...I want out of here.
On top of this, we just passed through year three of going through this process called adoption. I can't even go there right now. Surely we're almost done. Surely.
In all of this, I feel like God has been reminding me that "Obedience is greater than Sacrifice." I hope so, because Obedience is ALL...I...HAVE...LEFT. Even so, I will also offer my "sacrifice."
Do I WANT to do this fast again?
AB-so-lute-ly NOT.
In fact, I have been dreading "start day" all week.
Start day is tomorrow, March 1st.
You know what I've had to eat today?
The normal stuff, AND two (large) bags of Cadbury mini eggs, Starbucks, pretzels...shoot. I was eating, and I wasn't even hungry. I was eating just because I COULD still eat these things.
I will call this day "Fat Friday."
My "Sacrifice," my "Offering" will begin tomorrow.
I'll tell you about my phone call to Kristin suggesting this fast another day.
It ended with her telling me she hates me.
I told her I hated her, too.
Don't you worry.
We actually love each other like sisters.
...but we weren't really kidding.
I'm not very happy with her for prodding me to follow this call-even when I told her that not a single part of me wants to do this again. I know she loves me because she heard what I was telling her, and she STILL said that I should fast out of obedience, and to "draw near to God." I agree. I need to draw near.
I'm still mad at Him.
Obedience.
I don't want to fast.
Obedience.
I like birthday cake, and my husband AND my own birthdays are in March.
There will be no cake this year.
No frosting.
No ice cream.
No Starbucks.
No nice dinner.
Obedience.
You can go ahead and judge my anger toward God, and if I'm being real, my husband. I know I have NO right to be angry with the Almighty. I know He has a lot of work to do in my in these next 40 days.
A LOT.
I'm hoping that He will honor my obedience and do such an amazingly huge work in me that I will come out on the other side of this a NEW CREATION...AGAIN.
So, out of obedience, I will (again) give up all foods excepting:
fruits
vegetables
beans
nuts
This is NOT a diet.
This is NOT "The Daniel Fast."
For me, this IS NOT and WILL NOT turn into "Kelly's Daily Organic Lesson."
But, rather, will hopefully be "Kelly's Daily Faith Lesson."
This IS extreme.
This WILL BE painful.
I WILL BE as transparent as possible.
I WILL obey.
Grace and Peace be yours in abundance~
~Kelly
It's been awhile.
...like, three years.
I'm still experiencing some food grief from that last fast.
To be truthful, I TRIED to fast like that again once.
I lasted roughly 20 days with a few cheats in there.
...then I quit.
...then Kristin got preggers, and I didn't have a "fast partner."
...and then I got mad at God.
...really mad.
...for a year.
(gasp)
I'm only saying it out loud. The Lord God looks at the heart. He already knew it. He knew I was mad. I just confessed it. He never let go...even when I wanted to. Let me explain...
My husband and I moved to this little "one horse town" in Pennsylvania in 2006. I didn't fit in there. I felt "extravagant" there. I needed a Target...a Starbucks...a mall. I had none of the above. Still, I KNEW that God had us move there. I had never been so convinced of God's will in my life before. Even though I could barely stand that little "one horse town" and felt like I didn't fit in, I was entirely committed to it because I knew God sent us there.
Flash forward to 2010 when our adoption began...I stepped back from the ministry that we were involved in, but I was in peace about it. Around about this time, I started to see this sweet little farm town for what it was...a hidden gem: A little bitty hidden town with a beautiful mountain range with a view that would take your breath away, a soccer complex with plush, green grass~"The Hills are Alive...Sound of Music...top of the Alps spinning in your play dress-apron flapping in the wind...grass", my favorite 5 mile running loop, my house where I could hear the cheers for the home team on a clear Friday night, that McDonalds that couldn't quite get that "fast food" idea down, the mentally disabled bagger at Martins who told me about her twin niece and nephew every time I went through...kinda town. Time went by, and it was already 2013. This military brat had lived in this little farm town longer than I had lived anywhere in my entire life. Somehow, this little blue collar town had won over my heart. The people of this town had welcomed me with open arms into their very family. I was FINALLY "FROM" somewhere...until my husband came home from work last January.
"They gave me Kings Mountain."
"Where's that?"
"North Carolina."
I'm not sure I've ever mourned something so fiercely for so long in my life. I've moved my entire life...every 3-4 years. I'm a seasoned veteran "mover." I HAVE NO ROOTS...or, I HAD no roots, until I claimed residence in that sweet little farm town with the "salt of the earth" people. I had made friends who I considered at least as close as family. I had community, a brotherhood and sisterhood of believers, people I could call on-who could call on me. And, it wasn't just because they were my friends. That is JUST how that town is; it is truly in the heartbeat of the people FROM that town. It is part of the culture there. It is who they are. God plucked me out.
Three months later, we were gone.
Three months later, we had a new "home town." If you google our new town, it looks amazing. First of all, it's a lake town, and who doesn't love that idea? The home values never went down, because it's a lake town AND it's a suburb of Charlotte, NC and all the big city has to offer! The schools? The best in SC! As in, all the children in grades 1-8 will be issued ipads next schoolyear, great. My son's new soccer complex? They hosted the youth national soccer tournament in 2012. All the fields have lights. Two turf fields with stadium seating. Professional (British) coaching staff. I began Stand Up Paddleboarding. We go kayaking. We hike to waterfalls. We have season passes to the Biltmore. It has only snowed once this winter. Our church? Amazing. You know, all the stuff you post on Facebook that looks amazing? We've got it here. I've lived here almost a year. I have a handful of friends (mainly from church) who are scattered about Metrolina. I've never been more lonely.
My anger toward God for plucking me out of my little farm town has been bitter. This move has been bitter. I want to move back. I want my old friends. I want my comfortable town. I want my old church, my old bible study, my old neighborhood, our old schools. If I'm being brutally honest, and I'm going to be...I want out of here.
On top of this, we just passed through year three of going through this process called adoption. I can't even go there right now. Surely we're almost done. Surely.
In all of this, I feel like God has been reminding me that "Obedience is greater than Sacrifice." I hope so, because Obedience is ALL...I...HAVE...LEFT. Even so, I will also offer my "sacrifice."
Do I WANT to do this fast again?
AB-so-lute-ly NOT.
In fact, I have been dreading "start day" all week.
Start day is tomorrow, March 1st.
You know what I've had to eat today?
The normal stuff, AND two (large) bags of Cadbury mini eggs, Starbucks, pretzels...shoot. I was eating, and I wasn't even hungry. I was eating just because I COULD still eat these things.
I will call this day "Fat Friday."
My "Sacrifice," my "Offering" will begin tomorrow.
I'll tell you about my phone call to Kristin suggesting this fast another day.
It ended with her telling me she hates me.
I told her I hated her, too.
Don't you worry.
We actually love each other like sisters.
...but we weren't really kidding.
I'm not very happy with her for prodding me to follow this call-even when I told her that not a single part of me wants to do this again. I know she loves me because she heard what I was telling her, and she STILL said that I should fast out of obedience, and to "draw near to God." I agree. I need to draw near.
I'm still mad at Him.
Obedience.
I don't want to fast.
Obedience.
I like birthday cake, and my husband AND my own birthdays are in March.
There will be no cake this year.
No frosting.
No ice cream.
No Starbucks.
No nice dinner.
Obedience.
You can go ahead and judge my anger toward God, and if I'm being real, my husband. I know I have NO right to be angry with the Almighty. I know He has a lot of work to do in my in these next 40 days.
A LOT.
I'm hoping that He will honor my obedience and do such an amazingly huge work in me that I will come out on the other side of this a NEW CREATION...AGAIN.
So, out of obedience, I will (again) give up all foods excepting:
fruits
vegetables
beans
nuts
This is NOT a diet.
This is NOT "The Daniel Fast."
For me, this IS NOT and WILL NOT turn into "Kelly's Daily Organic Lesson."
But, rather, will hopefully be "Kelly's Daily Faith Lesson."
This IS extreme.
This WILL BE painful.
I WILL BE as transparent as possible.
I WILL obey.
Grace and Peace be yours in abundance~
~Kelly
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